Out The Doldrums

Let’s just say that if procrastination is poison and being busy is lethal, then I’d probably be the dead being killed off over and over again. What an image to start a post with aye?

For the fact that this blog is supposed to be quite the raw outlet for the thoughts that creep around in my head, I shall refrain from back tracking to the missing past few months’ worth of my life and posting it up here. It just seems a bit forced and un-raw of me if I were to do that. The truly significant moments shall remain in my head, unpublished, while those memories that pale in comparison shall remain in the wastelands of my head, only to appear again perhaps as mere passing thoughts.

As for now, well I seem to have been shaken out of the prevalent stagnancy that reigned over me. Apart from the routine challenges of every day, nothing much too exciting has occurred, until now of course.

A slight digression here, I suddenly feel the need to make it clear that this blog is for me, by me. What I have to say over here is primarily for my own reference for when I’m a little older. If you were to stumble upon this, well have an opinion, yes, but don’t incessantly judge me for the jargon I publish in here. My head works in ways that I myself deem a little left off centre so please discontinue reading if you feel that my writing is not to your taste or anything. I’m not even entirely sure why this paragraph is here, but, yeah.

Now let’s get back on track.

I seem to have been brought out of the doldrums and into some unmistakably new unchartered, undiscovered territory. For that, I feel the urge and the obligation to put the noteworthy aspects of this down in writing. I am almost certain that in the years to come, I will look back at this, be it in either delight or disgust (most hopefully the former), and attempt to replay and relive the amazing rush of elation that I’ve waded through over the past few weeks.

I feel empowered. I feel inspired. I feel over the moon. I feel motivated. I feel like crying. I feel like sighing, in joy and in anticipation. I feel patient. I feel impatient. I feel the need to give. I feel needed. I feel like I’m getting some of the happiness that I think I deserve. I feel as though nature is finally revealing to me one of its most revered beauties.

Most importantly though, for the very first time...

I feel loved.