6 Years

One of the greatest fears I have had my entire life, as intagible and incessant as it is, is the fear of an uncertain future. So it comes as no surprise I guess that I have finally applied for the LUSA. Well just yesterday I had the interview with commissioner along with the SO selection panel. My first formal job interview of sorts. It was intimidating to say the least.

Within two weeks, I will know whether my application has been successful or otherwise. This simply means that within two weeks, I will find out my fate for the next six years at the very least. So much is at stake here. I really don't want to put a financial burden on my parents. Getting this award will basically mean just that. 4 years worth of university tuition fees off my parents' shoulders.

There was so much deliberation within my own head over the past few months. I can't even keep track of the number of people I've consulted for advice with regards to this award. I jumped fences so many times, threading between yes and no to applying for this. Can't blame anyone though. There were so many considerations and concerns, but most of them if not all, no doubt, were cleared by none other than my family.

I'll never forget the night of 23rd October 2011. A family dinner to celebrate a noteworthy date for my family. It was the also the night I finally decided to reveal to my family my plans (more of my concerns) to take up this award. Initially I began inclined towards a no. In a way, I sort of wanted my family to convince me to take it up. And convince they me they did. Family knows best.

So now i'll just wait. My fate, my immediate future, it will be revealed to me within the next two weeks, hopefully to my favour. I have properly done up and submitted the application. I have gone through the necessary tests and interviews. It is now no longer within my control. I will leave it up to the forces that be. Tawakkal.

Let me also take this time to express my gratitude to all the people who have shown their support to me. I am honestly humbled and most definitely touched by your tips, advice and words of encouragement. It has been such a long time since i've felt so much love from so many different sources. I may not have the award to my name yet but even if I don't get it, i'm already content enough knowing that I have such a strong support system to lean on if I ever needed it.

From the bottom of my heart, I sincerely thank my family, my close friends, and of course a particular caring Unicorn who went out of it's way just to provide it's unwavering support. I love you. I love all of you.