It happened on 13 December 2010.
It happened again on 13 December 2011.
On both occasions, I pretty much had enough clairvoyance to ambiguously foresee what these calls would be about. I'm not superstitious enought to point out the involvement of the number 13 in this situation. To me, it is nothing more than mere coincidence, a noteworthy one at that considering that out of 365 days in the calendar, the forces that be seem to have chosen this specific date.
Coincidences aside though, I can't help but feel a lethal mix of ambivalence towards this situation. I see myself as a reasonable, just and fair person (under most circumstances at least) and I use these to guide myself in my words and my actions. What I have done, though, is really confusing the nuts out of me.
Was I selfish to have told you the truth, knowing that it would not settle easy on you?
Would I be better off just witholding the truth, even though I know you already knew the truth and that you just needed verbal confirmation from my own mouth?
But by doing that, would I be doing myself justice, by not admitting to my own happiness?
Well, everything has been said and done so there really isn't any point in questioning the what-ifs. I'll just wait and let mother nature and father time work their magic to show me how this will turn out. I'll just have to remind myself that sometimes, the best decisions aren't always the easiest ones.
And what you said last night, I'd have to somewhat agree. I too would love to go back to when we were still 16; young, innocent and clueless to the many complexities that life has to offer.
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