Sketchy Retrospect

Living Life With Love, Living Life

2012-01-21T23:50:00.000+08:00

I try to picture a girl through a looking glass
And see her as a carbon atom, see her eyes and stare back at them
See the girl as her own new world
Though her home is on the surface she is still a universe

Glory God, oh God is peeking through the blinds
Are we all here standing naked
Taking guesses at the actual date and time
Oh my, justifying reasons why
Is an absolutely insane resolution to live by

Live high, live mighty
Live righteously takin' it easy
Live high, live mighty
Live righteously

I try to picture the man to always have an open hand
See him as a giving tree, see him as matter
Matter of fact he's not a beast
No, not the devil either, always a good deed doer
Well, it's laughter that we're makin' after all

The call of the wild is still in order nationwide
In the order of the primates all our politics are too late
Oh my, the congregation in my mind
Is an assembly selling gratitude and practicing their lovin' of you

Live high, live mighty
Live righteously takin' it easy
Live high, live mighty
Live righteously

And oh, let's take it easy and celebrate the malleable reality
Because nothing is ever as it seems, this life is but a dream

Live high, live mighty
Live righteously takin' it easy
Live high, live mighty
Live righteously, let's take it easy

Live high, live mighty
Live righteously takin' it easy
Live high, live mighty
Live righteously, let's take it easy

-Live High, Jason Mraz

New Year's Eve Dinner

2012-01-01T12:33:00.001+08:00

A very happy new year indeed.

Eye Catching

2011-12-28T22:25:00.002+08:00

Travis, Jakob and Alex NEED to do a number together. It'll be like the best thing to have ever been performed. Their impeccable technique will be such a feast.

Note To Self

2011-12-19T15:28:00.001+08:00

Do not let your own insecurities dictate your thoughts and actions.

Do not let other people influence your decisions.

Do not ever lose grip of your own happiness.

Do not do things for the wrong reasons.

Do not think too much.

Do not over analyze.

Do not speculate.

Do not screw up.

Late Night Phone Call

2011-12-13T19:02:00.000+08:00

It happened on 13 December 2010.
It happened again on 13 December 2011.

On both occasions, I pretty much had enough clairvoyance to ambiguously foresee what these calls would be about. I'm not superstitious enought to point out the involvement of the number 13 in this situation. To me, it is nothing more than mere coincidence, a noteworthy one at that considering that out of 365 days in the calendar, the forces that be seem to have chosen this specific date.

Coincidences aside though, I can't help but feel a lethal mix of ambivalence towards this situation. I see myself as a reasonable, just and fair person (under most circumstances at least) and I use these to guide myself in my words and my actions. What I have done, though, is really confusing the nuts out of me.

Was I selfish to have told you the truth, knowing that it would not settle easy on you?
Would I be better off just witholding the truth, even though I know you already knew the truth and that you just needed verbal confirmation from my own mouth?
But by doing that, would I be doing myself justice, by not admitting to my own happiness?

Well, everything has been said and done so there really isn't any point in questioning the what-ifs. I'll just wait and let mother nature and father time work their magic to show me how this will turn out. I'll just have to remind myself that sometimes, the best decisions aren't always the easiest ones.

And what you said last night, I'd have to somewhat agree. I too would love to go back to when we were still 16; young, innocent and clueless to the many complexities that life has to offer.

Back To Square One

2011-12-08T22:25:00.001+08:00

I didn't get it. Now, let's activate Plan B.

The Week Was All About Us

2011-12-04T21:16:00.001+08:00

Now I've had the time of my life
No I never felt like this before
Yes I swear it's the truth
and I owe it all to you

'Cause I've had the time of my life
and I owe it all to you

I've been waiting for so long
Now I've finally found someone
To stand by me

We saw the writing on the wall
As we felt this magical fantasy

Now with passion in our eyes
There's no way we could disguise it secretly
So we take each other's hand
'Cause we seem to understand the urgency
Just remember

You're the one thing

I can't get enough of

So I'll tell you something
This could be love because

I've had the time of my life
No I never felt this way before
Yes I swear it's the truth
And I owe it all to you
'Cause I've had the time of my life
And I've searched through every open door
'Til I found the truth
And I owe it all to you

With my body and soul
I want you more than you'll ever know

So we'll just let it go
Don't be afraid to lose control

Yes I know whats on your mind
When you say:
"Stay with me tonight."
Just remember
You're the one thing

I can't get enough of
So I'll tell you something
This could be love because

'Cause I had the time of my life
No I've never felt this way before
Yes I swear it's the truth
And I owe it all to you
'Cause I've had the time of my life
And I've searched through every open door
Till I found the truth
and I owe it all to you

Now I've had the time of my life
No I never felt this way before

Yes I swear it's the truth
and I owe it all to you

'Cause I had the time of my life
And I've searched through every open door
Till I've found the truth
and I owe it all to you
'Cause I've had the time of my life
No I've never felt this way before
Yes I swear it's the truth
And I owe it all to you

-(I've Had) The Time of My Life, from the musical Dirty Dancing

Elation

2011-11-30T22:59:00.001+08:00

Today I experienced something new. A first, and it feels amazing. There's so much I want to say about it, but I'll keep all of these in my own head instead. Yup.

Gagging

2011-11-15T23:48:00.001+08:00

Let's laugh a little shall we?

Errbodeh gotta love them some 9gag!

Expanding Your Horizon of Love

2011-11-10T12:45:00.001+08:00

We all know Albert Einstein as the father of modern science but what many of us don't realize is that he is also an excellent philosopher. The letter below by Einstein was written in response to an individual that had sought advice in overcoming the loss of a loved one

"A human being is a part of a whole, called by us ‘universe’, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest… a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."

What a pleasant surprise to see someone with so much intellect in both the field of science as well as affairs of the heart. Though perfect happiness is as real as a utopian city, one can never be wrong in striving to achieve such happiness. This letter resonates well within me. It goes with the grain of what I stand for which is to eliminate as much unnecessary externalities as my capabilities can, and milk as much optimism from life instead.

Our love should go beyond those whom directly and tangibly affect us. It's barely enough. Perhaps a greater appreciation towards the things that we rarely notice may do us some good too, as ironic as it sounds. We must educate our young in tandem with this mentality in order to cultivate a deeper level of mutual respect to our global counterparts. Maybe only then will strife and conflicts within and between countries cease to exist, or at the very least, kept to a minimal level.

To end this post, I suggest you take a closer look at the photo above and discover some of the lesser known quips of wisdom and knowledge from none other than Albert Einstein.

I'm Supposed To Be Asleep

2011-11-06T03:22:00.003+08:00

Everyone else in this household is asleep. Through my bedroom window I see a perpetual stream of motor vehicles coursing through the expressway. My ears can comprehend, though barely, the rain drops lightly beating themselves against the different surfaces of this vicinity. This skimpy bedtime attire i'm wearing, it's letting my skin feel a light touch of comfort that the delicious temperature is generously giving away. I'm supposed to be in bed, snoring the burgundy-skied night away. The circumstances are so conducive, and yet, I'm not even close to letting out a mere yawn.

This head of mine is keeping me awake. I can't figure out who or what is controlling this cranium but it's just not allowing me the forty winks I need prior to a brand new day. Instead, I am being forced to at least make an attempt at untangling this metaphorical ball of yarn that's residing somewhere in between my heart and my head.

Nights like these are nights that I have to confront myself with the issues that have been plaguing me the entire duration of my life. Actually, these aren't really troubling thoughts. They are just entities and aspects of my life that are simply too huge for my twenty year old mind to properly grab a hold of. I might take another two decades to understand my life and the various forces surrounding it. I might take more time than that. I might take less. It is also probable that I might never.

Life can be a chronological cycle. Life can also be a linear timeline. Heck, it might even throw a curveball and create divergences and diversions just to throw us off the path that we were meant to be in or want to be on. Life is confusing and yet, life is so assuring. It scares me so much but for some reason, I still assume this vessel to carry on with my journey. Ah yes, life is a journey, is it not? Or perhaps it is a series of missions. What is life?

What is life in general and what is my life? Does my life deviate from conventions or does it adopt mainstream notions? Why do I live? What do I live for? What am I today? What will I be tomorrow? Who will I be when I am on my death bed, just mere seconds away from giving my last breath? When will that happen? Will I be content with my life when that happens? Will I be lucky enough to have someone by my side when this happens?

These are but a few of the plethora of thoughts bottlenecked in my head. There is so much to think of. Life and death. The family I have now and those that I may have. The future, both immediate and long term. Love of the casual sort with the many friends I have. Love of the intimate sort with that one special being who occupies a sacred portion of the heart. Religion and how much it applies to me. Career or lack thereof. I'm getting a headache just from thinking of the things to be given thought.

Well, whatever it is, I strongly hold on to the belief that time and God will reveal to me how my life is supposed to be played out. I foresee trecharous mountains to be climbed, lovely flower fields to trek across, mud swamps and fresh waters to swim on. I am strong but I am not invincible. I will need help from the people I love and from the people who love me. I have to draw strength from past experiences, from faith, through prayers.

I am only twenty years old and I have so much more to learn and gain. I will also have countless opportunities to make mistakes, fall down and lose what I have gained, but I shall also take those opportunities as blessings. Blessings because I shall be able to learn from the mistakes, pick myself up when I fall and earn back what I have lost.

Let this post serve as a reminder to myself in the future that life, as elusive and incomprehensible as it is, is also simple. All we need is direction, motivation, perspiration.

My chest feels lighter now. What a cathartic post this has been. I think my head had decongested enough to allow me to enjoy some sleep while this cool comfortable weather is still the way it is. Goodnight.

6 Years

2011-11-05T15:25:00.000+08:00

One of the greatest fears I have had my entire life, as intagible and incessant as it is, is the fear of an uncertain future. So it comes as no surprise I guess that I have finally applied for the LUSA. Well just yesterday I had the interview with commissioner along with the SO selection panel. My first formal job interview of sorts. It was intimidating to say the least.

Within two weeks, I will know whether my application has been successful or otherwise. This simply means that within two weeks, I will find out my fate for the next six years at the very least. So much is at stake here. I really don't want to put a financial burden on my parents. Getting this award will basically mean just that. 4 years worth of university tuition fees off my parents' shoulders.

There was so much deliberation within my own head over the past few months. I can't even keep track of the number of people I've consulted for advice with regards to this award. I jumped fences so many times, threading between yes and no to applying for this. Can't blame anyone though. There were so many considerations and concerns, but most of them if not all, no doubt, were cleared by none other than my family.

I'll never forget the night of 23rd October 2011. A family dinner to celebrate a noteworthy date for my family. It was the also the night I finally decided to reveal to my family my plans (more of my concerns) to take up this award. Initially I began inclined towards a no. In a way, I sort of wanted my family to convince me to take it up. And convince they me they did. Family knows best.

So now i'll just wait. My fate, my immediate future, it will be revealed to me within the next two weeks, hopefully to my favour. I have properly done up and submitted the application. I have gone through the necessary tests and interviews. It is now no longer within my control. I will leave it up to the forces that be. Tawakkal.

Let me also take this time to express my gratitude to all the people who have shown their support to me. I am honestly humbled and most definitely touched by your tips, advice and words of encouragement. It has been such a long time since i've felt so much love from so many different sources. I may not have the award to my name yet but even if I don't get it, i'm already content enough knowing that I have such a strong support system to lean on if I ever needed it.

From the bottom of my heart, I sincerely thank my family, my close friends, and of course a particular caring Unicorn who went out of it's way just to provide it's unwavering support. I love you. I love all of you.

Friends For Life

2011-10-28T23:27:00.002+08:00

Yes, it's a cake but it's not just a cake. This cake was baked circa May 2008, about 4 years ago, by a bunch 18 year olds whom, at that point of time, didn't know each other as well as we do today. Well duh. I remember it very well. The group of us (or as colloquialism would put it, my clique) basically decided to have a break from the intense rigors of JC life (it was at the beginning stage, we were still adjusting) to just unwind, have fun and bond together as a group. The friendship was still pretty new and raw at that time.

Up until the tertiary stage of my education years, teachers would repeatedly drone on and on about how some of the friends we meet in school will be the friends we keep for life. This was especially even more pronounced during my JC years and let me just tell you, I have a very heavy hunch that it could, in fact, be true. Why? Simply because until today, the group of people who helped bake the cake or at least graced the occasion, we're still a close-knit bunch. Okay so there may have been some additions, subtractions and an ever changing shift in our group dynamics but as Mark Twain would put it, "the only constant is change".

The boys are busy serving the nation while the girls are heavily occupied with schoolwork in their respective institutions. We have our own separate lives. We are involved in other social circles. We have our own personal pursuits and activities to engage in. So meet ups nowadays are far and few in between unlike back when we were still in the same school where we see each other pretty much everry day, from the accidental bump-ins along the hallways to the kecoh lepak gatherings either at the atrium, canteen, or even (god forbid) inside lecture theatres (like, during lectures hehe). What intrigues me though is that no matter how long we absent ourselves physically from each other, whenever we do meet up, the camaraderie, kecohness and that bond of friendship will be as strong as ever.

When we meet, we talk about so many things. These people sometimes can really feed my need for intellectual stimulation, not trying to sound like a smarty boy here by the way. The topics we cover are diverse. So diverse, in fact, that we can even seamlessly transit from a very deep, moving topic to something as shallow as gossip fodder. Also, as of late, i've noticed that compared to four years ago, we talk more about the former rather than the latter, but that is to be discussed as another post altogether.

Four years of friendship. One can't entirely disregard the duration of friendships even though we all know that the quality of the friendship is somewhat more crucial. For something as complex as friendships, there will never be a one size fits all approach. We can gather all the sayings, perceptions and notions regarding friendships and apply them to real life but at the end of the day, no two friendships are the same much like how no two thumbprints are the same. I have friends whom I've known for a decade but still feel awkward when talking face to face. Likewise, I have friends whom i've also known for a decade and the bond we share is unbreakable. The one particular group of friends I'm talking about in this post, well it's four years and counting. I don't think there'll be any divergence anytime soon.

I have a big heart. Well at least i'd like to think so. Even though many things may come and go, this particular group of frinds will always occupy a special place in it. I have granted them permanent residence. This may sound like a long shot but let me proclaim my belief that this group of friends will be my close friends all the way till we grow up and grow old. I've always had this image of us, in our mid thirties, having coffee and talking about career, love, family and other adult stuff. Seriously I do hope this mental picture will translate into reality one day.

Only time will tell.

Surreality

2011-10-14T23:43:00.002+08:00

A week into this and reality still feels so surreal. I never knew that this could happen till it happened to me. Giving it my all is so easy because I'm so willing to do it. The best me I can be. So this is what real motivation feels like, and it's rippling into the other fundamental aspects of my life too. A positive impact, a positive influence.

I'm just in a state of bliss. Explains the slight lack in coherence.

Good day, good night.
Sleep well, sleep tight.

It's Today

2011-10-07T00:11:00.002+08:00

It began with so much apprehension on my part, and it stemmed from the uncertainty of not knowing what to expect. From what I have gathered from my friends' experiences, I seem to have grown cautious with my reservations aplenty with regards to this, yet, it somehow becomes unexplainably overshadowed by a mysterious force whose long list of by-products would include a feeling of warmth, comfort, joy and somehow, a little bit of nervousness.

Stomach, meet butterflies.

Anyways, I have given this so much thought. Of course, I may not be entirely sure of it right now but I'm really almost there. There hasn't been a day that passed where progess wasn't made. Be it leaps and bounds or tiny, minute intricacies, every day and every step has made a positive difference.

I have allowed myself sufficient incubation time for this to develop from it's raw infancy to something so fertile. I've been wading in a cesspool for two decades and now is the time to cross over to a more challenging body of water. I know for a fact that it won't be easy but as I have proven to myself countless times before, I am capable enough of adjusting to new forces in my life.

The deeper depth, the new circumstances, the unpredictability. The new experiences and different challenges. I am as aware as I am clueless. However, this, I know, will all be worth it. Besides, I won't learn anything if i don't advance beyond my comfort zone and into deeper waters. My abilities may be limited but that's the exact reason why I'm so willing to go through with this; to learn, to grow and to be a best me I can be. For you, for me, and for us.

This is it.

Years Past, Present and Perhaps the Future

2011-10-06T17:39:00.000+08:00

Having just woken up from my mid-day slumber, I can't help but ponder upon the little cinematic experience I had whilst in the twilight zone. Oh, I meant I can't stop thinking about the dream I had. Sorry for trying to sound cheem-tastic.

For some reason i can remember it more vividly than I can with most other dreams, and that fact alone is enough to intrigue me beyond measure. Usually my dreams are vague and I'll have very little memory of it apart from the general theme of it. Kinda like the equivalent to just writing a topic sentence in a GP essay without the elaboration, explanation and evaluation (omg did i just...) but anyways, in a nutshell, I dreamt about myself back in the JC years. Yes, there were slight alterations from what really went down but dreams are never real aren't they?

Seeing myself in the third person perspective whilst playing the role of the omnipresent, all knowing narrator (ala Jane Austen's Pride & Prejudice) was the shizznits. Uh huh I just used a word that couldnt be found in a dictionary. Digressions aside, waking up, the floodgates basically just threw itself open like how a prostitute would throw herself onto bed (uhm, apologies for the inappropriate analogy).

Now i'm all nostalgic about the short two years I spent in MJC. Those were two pivotal years that I can only describe as a day-to-day blitz. So many highs and lows were experienced at their extremes. In a way, through all the crap and glitter I had to deal with, I somehow started to find myself. Yeah, call me a late bloomer but I only started to find out who I was during my JC years.

The years that I lived before I trekked into Meridian were years that were spent with a dormant, passive mind. Going through motions without any particular direction. I used to live only for the day to end and nothing more. Sure, some of my interests and bits of my being were piqued in those days but it was only at the turn of 2008 that I really took off, much like the expponential curves that I had to handle in H1 Maths.

With everything being said, though, it's not that I disregard my childhood and prepubescent years or the years spent since I graduated. In fact, they all have their moments of paramount significance and to compare them, I guess, is not the fairest thing to do in honour of my own memory. The only reason I'm putting my JC years on a pedestal for this post is due to the awesome dream I had about it. I mean, they were also the worst years but I shall not expound on that.

If there are any trends that I can infer from the different phases of life, it's that each phase has a higher peak than the one before. I honestly think it might be due to the increased mental capabilities to assess situations as one grows, but hey, I'll just take it as it is. How does one categorize their own phases anyway? Well, to each his own. All I know is that whatever I have been through in my past, be it the moments of crescendo or the silent fragments, have all made a difference to what and to who I am today.

As I approach the rest of today and the days to come, I can only expect the worst and hope for the best. Heck, i'm in the midst of what I think could very well be one of the most significant out of the numerous highlights of my NS years. No, wait, it's beyond that. I'm going through a milestone in my life. It's too big to be confined by the restrictions of a chronological phase.

I somewhat fear the future for it's uncertainty but then again, I've always said that (though in different literary permutations) in the past and I'm still here today, very much alive. So I guess the best thing to do for now is to just open up my mind, draw strength from past experiencces and trudge through the coming days, months and years.

Or maybe I should just go get a snack in the kitchen and plant myself in front of the television. Hmm yeah I think I'll just go do that.

Out The Doldrums

2011-09-25T04:00:00.000+08:00

Let’s just say that if procrastination is poison and being busy is lethal, then I’d probably be the dead being killed off over and over again. What an image to start a post with aye?

For the fact that this blog is supposed to be quite the raw outlet for the thoughts that creep around in my head, I shall refrain from back tracking to the missing past few months’ worth of my life and posting it up here. It just seems a bit forced and un-raw of me if I were to do that. The truly significant moments shall remain in my head, unpublished, while those memories that pale in comparison shall remain in the wastelands of my head, only to appear again perhaps as mere passing thoughts.

As for now, well I seem to have been shaken out of the prevalent stagnancy that reigned over me. Apart from the routine challenges of every day, nothing much too exciting has occurred, until now of course.

A slight digression here, I suddenly feel the need to make it clear that this blog is for me, by me. What I have to say over here is primarily for my own reference for when I’m a little older. If you were to stumble upon this, well have an opinion, yes, but don’t incessantly judge me for the jargon I publish in here. My head works in ways that I myself deem a little left off centre so please discontinue reading if you feel that my writing is not to your taste or anything. I’m not even entirely sure why this paragraph is here, but, yeah.

Now let’s get back on track.

I seem to have been brought out of the doldrums and into some unmistakably new unchartered, undiscovered territory. For that, I feel the urge and the obligation to put the noteworthy aspects of this down in writing. I am almost certain that in the years to come, I will look back at this, be it in either delight or disgust (most hopefully the former), and attempt to replay and relive the amazing rush of elation that I’ve waded through over the past few weeks.

I feel empowered. I feel inspired. I feel over the moon. I feel motivated. I feel like crying. I feel like sighing, in joy and in anticipation. I feel patient. I feel impatient. I feel the need to give. I feel needed. I feel like I’m getting some of the happiness that I think I deserve. I feel as though nature is finally revealing to me one of its most revered beauties.

Most importantly though, for the very first time...

I feel loved.

Politics & The General Election: An Interesting Perspective

2011-05-03T01:28:00.003+08:00

With the General Elections assaulting our lives left right and centre, I thought it's about time I share an interesting angle about what we are seeing everyday in the papers, on tv and on the internet: political campaigns and rallying.

Just a disclaimer, the following read has not been conjured from my own head (though I wish it did considering how interesting and befitting the analogy is). Rather, it came from one of my friend's relative whom I have not personally met. I got this through a post on Facebook. Ah, the wonders of social media, but I digress. Now for the post.

It's a little lengthy but trust me, totally worth reading if you are into witty analogies. If you're not, I pity you.

While walking down the street one day an MP is tragically hit by a truck and
dies. The MP's soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter . "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," says the MP.

St. Peter says, "Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the MP.

"I'm sorry, but we have our rules", replies St.Peter.

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.

Also present is the Devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises...

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him. "Now it's time to visit heaven," St Peter says. So, 24 hours pass with the MP joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and the 24 hours in heaven passes by and St Peter returns.

"Well, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now which will you choose for your eternity?" St Peter asks.

The MP reflects for a minute, then he answers, "Well, I never would have thought it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be happier and better off ... in hell." So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above. The Devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.

"I don't understand," stammers the MP. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"

The Devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning...

...today, you voted. "

What'd I tell ya? Lovely huh?

Now, this essay is by no means a representation of what I believe in with regards to politics and the upcoming General Elections. Heck, i'm not even old enough to be eligible to vote (which I'm secretly thankful for by the way). What really intrigues me is how potentially true this little story can be.

The hot topic for all but especially so for this GE is the whole opposition drama. PAP, in their bid to maintain their parliamentary supremacy, has been bombarding us (or at least attempting to)with rhetorics like (read in a deep voice with foreboding tone) "Do you want to vote in a government with a great track record or do you want to vote in a future of uncertainty".

What bothers me here is how arrogant PAP has become. Indeed, the track record that they are so proud of is valid in spite of the numerous glaring shortcomings in their governance. They flaunt it like a proud peacock would flaunt it's tail feathers, but just like how a peacock is oblivious to it's own arrogance, PAP seem to be so blindingly convicted that their statements can and will get them their crucial votes without sparing a thought about their own humble beginnings.

I acknowledge that PAP has indeed put in the effort to snatch the vote of the citizens away from the opposition despite several questionable and sly implementatoins (like how they redrew constituency boundaries according to voter profiles). I want a government with an alternative voice because it eradicates stagnancy, because having an opposition would instigate healthy competition between the two parties which in turn will result in better, more refined policies for the greater good of the citizens, which, in the first place, is the entire purpose of a government; to serve it's people.

Sadly, PAP does not want that. They are blinded by their own delusions of self-sufficiency. They believe that they don't need anyone else to help them improve. Well if that's the case, Singapore might as well live under a Monarchy right? An overconfident and complacent one at that.

Do they not remember how nervous Singapore was when PAP first came into power? I guess not, or at least they pretend not to because from what I see, hear and read, their overconfidence and complacency has consumed them to the point that they do not give the opposition a fragment of a chance to show that they too are capable of leading a nation despite their relative infancy.

Don't misunderstand me here. I am not lambasting PAP because I am anti them or whatever. These are just mere passing thoughts of a too-young-to-be-eligible-to-vote citizen (once again I reiterate my claim that I'm glad I'm not allowed to vote yet because it just involves too much thinking on my part).

To wrap this up, let me just say one more time that I'm glad I don't have to vote. I definitely need more time (5 years to be specific) to clear my head and decide which party I want to represent my voice, my welfare, my future. For those who are voting however, please vote wisely. Think carefully before making that X mark on the ballot. Don't vote for PAP just because they have that great track record that you want to perpetuate. Likewise, don't vote for the opposition just because you feel like we need an alternative.

Weigh up what they bring to the table. Make an informed decision. Vote with confidence, vote with wisdom.

On a sidenote, i think i'm addicted to using parenthesis as a tool to inject a little opinion into my prose. Weird.

It Ain't Fair But...

2011-04-24T02:03:00.002+08:00

Prejudice is born out of ignorance and because humans are arbitrary in the knowledge they seek, I don't think it's ever possible to completely eradicate this ailment in society.

Take a hint.

Wanted: Inspiration

2011-03-06T21:58:00.002+08:00

I'm lacking in inspiration at this point of time, thus explaining the lack of blog posts. One thing i can't seem to fathom is why this dry spell is happening. I am not liking this at all.

Somebody please, inspire me. I want to start writing again (not that it's that good).

We Made It

2011-02-20T15:10:00.004+08:00

32 weeks

29 cadets

15 final exercises

8 months

4 terms

2nd RCC

We made it through, and as this chapter ends, another one begins.

Alius Pro Ego

Of Taking Flight...

2011-01-12T18:28:00.005+08:00

"When the soul of a man is born in this country there are nets flung at it to hold it back from flight. You talk to me of nationality, language, religion. I shall try to fly by those nets."

-A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, James Joyce

Perhaps one needs to read the novel to understand the significance of this quote. Back when I was studying this as one of my numerous English Literature texts, I didn't quite appreciate the story, the plot and most importantly, the meanings encompassed within the lines in its pages.

It didn't seem obvious enough to me back in those days, probably due to the fact that scouring through a book for academic purposes automatically renders it boring, but I realize that the story of Stephen Daedalus bears heavy significance to my very being. It is a representation of something that I yearn for in my life.

Courage, amongst others.

I've read somewhere before that courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear. I'd love to possess this courage. I'd love to develop the heart of a lion, because there are just too many things holding me back.

I wonder when i'll be able to cast away those nets that keep me from taking flight.

Say What You Need To Say

2010-12-26T20:55:00.003+08:00

I used to be so afraid of several words. Likewise, I also look forward to hearing people say certain words. But this was at a time when I didn't hear these words being spoken to me.

I yearned for these words, hoping it would make me feel better, hoping it would elevate my own state of self-worth. I held these words in high regard. It was elusive. It was uplifting.

Now?

As I hear these words being spoken to me more often, I feel like it isn't as uplifting as I thought it would be. In fact, I question it. I question the sincerity encompassed within these words. I question whether these words are spoken just for the sake of saying it. In other words, I don't know whether you mean what you say.

This, is why I hold back even when you ask.

Mistakes and a Lost Childhood

2010-11-16T23:03:00.004+08:00

The biggest mistake I've made as a child was wanting to grow up.

Back then, I thought the life of a young adult was so wonderful. Then again, I also thought that there were actual people inside the television.

Now that I'm on the verge of adulthood, I have to say that it's not as wonderful as I thought it would be. Please forgive me for stating the obvious.

Freedom. Fun. Friends.

I looked forward to growing up just so I could have these things and even more. Little did young Fazari know that he already had all these. It is just so unfortunate that he was too preoccupied with what might happen to his future that he forgot to relish the present.

Well the present is the past and the future is now. I have freedom. I have fun and I have friends, but these only serve as masks that hide the true complexities adulthood entails. I now yearn to relive the simple days of childhood innocence, so much so that I sometimes forget to treasure the good things that can happen in the present.

The biggest mistake I've made as a child was wanting to grow up.

The biggest mistake I'm making now is wanting to be a child again.

Bad Habit

2010-10-31T19:57:00.005+08:00

Over the years I have developed a habit and it's a really bad habit that I want to rid myself of. Unfortunately it's a habit and habits are hard to die especially when it messes up your head, your heart and everything else in between.

I need to stop myself from holding on to things that I don't even have. In fact, these things aren't even things. They're merely thoughts that have bred themselves in my head based on excessive wishful thinking.

The head always tells me to stop but the heart disobeys.

Of Rocks, Pebbles and Sand

2010-10-17T02:48:00.002+08:00

There is a story to be shared and it goes like this...

A philosophy professor stood before his class with some items on the table in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, about 2 inches in diameter.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

He then asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “Yes.”

“Now,” said the professor, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The rocks are the important things – your family, your partner, your health, your children – things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter – like your job, your house, your car.

The sand is everything else. The small stuff.”

“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued “there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal.

Take care of the rocks first – the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.

Thanks For Making Me A Fighter

2010-10-10T14:58:00.007+08:00

Today i'd like to take some time to appreciate all the people in my life who have thrown me down, offended me, insulted me, ridiculed me and marginalized me for being myself.

Because of you, your words, your actions, i've become a fighter.

"Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do
I wouldn't know just how capable I am to pull through
So I wanna say thank you

Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter

Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter "

The Return (But Don't Expect Much For Now)

2010-09-13T21:48:00.005+08:00

To anyone who still bothers to visit this, please accept my sincerest apologies for the prolonged period of absence. Blame it on (in ascending order of significance) time constraints, writer's blocks, procrastination and sheer laziness.

Now if any of you were to ask me how I’ve been for the past few days or weeks or god knows how long it’s been since we last met, I can only offer you a cheap quote that is seemingly meaningless, key word here being seemingly, because as absurd as it may sound, it practically sums up my not-very-eventful-but-still-exciting-enough life.

“Same same, but different”.

Talk about anti-climactic. Hope you weren’t expecting anything witty because I dislike disappointing others. I guess this is as far as this post goes. Told you not to expect much, but don’t worry. I will, to the best of my abilities, churn out more posts for the purpose of entertaining whoever that might stumble upon this place.

To Keep Me Going

2010-07-25T14:07:00.002+08:00

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired and success achieved"

-Helen Keller

"Don't Be Sad It Ended. Be Happy It Happened"

2010-07-04T14:02:00.006+08:00

Quebec Company 02/10

060310 to 020710

Platoon 2

BMT has been one of the most memorable experiences i've had in my 19 years of life thus far. The amazing people involved in it will forever be etched in my memory. I've never felt so strongly about something in such a long time. The 17 weeks had been really fruitful physically, socially, psychologically and spiritually.

The journey has been sickeningly tough but contrary to the above quote, i'm actually really sad that it has ended. However, i'm equally as happy that it happened for i have learnt lessons aplenty. What lies ahead is a mystery but one thing is for sure, the end of something marks the beginning of something better.

Fading

2010-05-02T17:14:00.008+08:00

It's in the word itself.

Facades can facade.

I know mine is.

Or maybe its just in transition.

Change is a part of who we are.

Change is innately human.

But not everything can change.

Right?

Looks like i'm caught in my own paradox again.

Did I Make You Proud?

2010-04-25T16:55:00.005+08:00

Dear Mom & Dad,

I haven't been a perfect son. I haven't been particularly close to you. I haven't been very truthful with my words. I haven't been very appreciative of you. I haven't reciprocated the care and concern you have given me. I know I haven't.

But you have always pinned your hopes on me to make it, somehow, somewhere. You wanted me to beat the odds and be the pride of the family. You wanted to be proud of me. I could tell. Those subtle parcels of encouragement before i took each paper during the A levels. I didn't believe in myself but you did.

Sure, I have had my little achievements. It made you happy, but I know the pinnacle of your hopes is for me to get a place in university. It's a big deal for you. It's a big deal for me as well. Now that I have finally got my offer, I hope I have not only made you happy, but made you proud.

A prominent character from my chilhood (and im being serious here) once said "To infinity and beyond".

Mom, dad, I will do this for you.

Just Asking

2010-04-11T14:19:00.005+08:00

Who am i?

What do I want?

What am I doing here?

Why do i do what I do?
Why do i say what I say?

Why do I feel what I feel?

What do I really want?

When will I know?

The Circle Of Life

2010-03-28T15:02:00.006+08:00

Monday :[

Tuesday :/

Wednesday :3

Thursday :]

Friday :D

Saturday (^.^ )

Sunday (-__-)

Facebook-ers are one creative bunch.

What I Need Right Now

2010-03-03T00:18:00.007+08:00

Something vital has been missing from my life for the past few months but up until a few moments ago, I haven't had the slightest clue as to what this elusive entity is. Through an unlikely epiphany, I may have finally found out.

Clarity of thought.

This is what i've been missing and this is what i need right now. Whenever I start to think about stuff, I always end up being stuck, as though there is some sort of barrier blocking my train of thought. I'm guessing that the lack of lucidity in my head is largely due to the massive amount of thoughts I can have in my head at one go. Contrary to what others would think of me, I actually do get burdened by my own thoughts.

Fears. Insecurities. Truths. Lies. My head is just saturated with sentiments i'd rather not harbour in my head. Then again, we're all human. Everyone is vulnerable to a certain degree and each person's method to cope is unique, but I digress.

Me finding out that I need to have clarity of thought does not, in any way, imply that I have indeed cleared my head enough to finally think straight. I still have a lot in my head. I still don't know where to start, where to end, where to continue and how to continue. I don't like feeling stuck in my own head. I like freedom. I want freedom. Freedom in my own head at the very least. I mean, who likes to be a prisoner of their own selves?

Thought so.

But you know what? I am a stark subscriber to the notion that everything happens for a reason. There is a lesson to learn from this. I don't know it yet but I will sooner or later. Occurences like these, when it seems like i'm at my worst, are the true blessings in life as they are the best oppurtunities for growth.

So until I find a solution to clear up my congested mind, stay happy, eat healthy and be merry (actually we should all be this way, congested mind or not).

Toodles!

The Power Of 3 Will Set You Free

2010-02-28T17:50:00.004+08:00

It took us 2 months and 9 days but we finally did it.

Well done, soldiers.

Chinapore

2010-01-30T13:42:00.002+08:00

Disclaimer: Not meant to offend. Enjoy.

At an Intercultural class:

"Where do you find Bangaladeshis in Singapore?"

Class:" Little India"

"How about Thais"

Class: "Golden Mile"

"Filipinos?"

Class: "Lucky Plaza"

"China Nationals?"....... Silence from the lecture group.

Then a lone voice:"Everywhere"

( Overheard at the National University of Singapore, 2010)

Doomsday Huh?

2010-01-24T16:17:00.003+08:00

"I survived Y2K, Bird Flu, Mad Cow, 9/11 and Swine Flu. 2012, Here I Come!"

-Anonymous

Contemporary, Complimentary.

2010-01-20T13:51:00.007+08:00

So I just had two consecutive days of watching dance performances; dolcissime sirene and Destination Trafik: DEER. Thank you Jannah for the tickets.

Though I preferred the first show, I still loved both shows. They were amazing. It made me so much more interested in contemporary dance.

Now I really miss the stage.

PS: The person in the photo is none other than Jakob Karr! :D

First

2010-01-20T01:03:00.004+08:00

Wednesday.
20 January 2009.
1.02 am.

Relieved.
Thank you.

Let's Be Honest For Once

2010-01-17T01:20:00.003+08:00

The truth is that I don't tell the truth.

I swear, if the truth comes out, my social circle will shift so far away from where it is now. To think that the night of December 18 was a pivotal point in my life. Oh who am I kidding. It's never gonna happen. Not now at least.

Fuck my life.

For Vanity's Sake

2010-01-16T15:38:00.002+08:00

And also because I have too much free time on my hands.

P Is For Pink

2010-01-14T16:39:00.007+08:00

Open house was freaking awesome!

Cheers!

Black No More

2010-01-13T02:22:00.007+08:00

It's red and I love it.

The Road Is Going To Be Long But...

2010-01-11T15:36:00.003+08:00

...I can, I will and I must.

If this is what I really want, then there must be no more procrastination.

Because Beauty Is Subjective

2010-01-10T12:33:00.002+08:00

You are beautiful no matter what they say.
Words won't bring me down.

Bye Or Hello, It's All Good (Pt. 2)

2010-01-01T00:25:00.008+08:00

I intended for this to be part of the previous post but it made the whole thing too long so I decided to break it into two parts. In this part, my first post of 2010, I look back to thank the people who made my 2009 a truly remarkable year.

08A301 for all the laughter and insanely random moments that ironically kept me sane.

All my teachers especially Mr Clarence Yeo and Mr Chris Chen for pushing me through all the encouragement and guidance right through the A Levels.

English Drama Club for being such wonderfully dramatic (duh) people and for the endless fun during rehearsals as well as for allowing me to grow as a stage actor.

MJC 6th House Committee for adding so much colour (literally, haha) to my life especially pre, during and post Orientation and Colloseum as well as for all the craziness in the perpetually messy House Comm room.

6th Phobos House Comm (Firdaus, Athirah, Becky, Shafiq, Alvin, Stephanie) for inspiring me and for tolerating my endless flow of nonsensical ideas as well as for sharing the wild experience as Meridian Leaders with me. Our victory was simply priceless.

7th Phobos House Comm (Matthew, Firza, Faiz, Namira, Nawawi, Emilyn, Fadhil) &
Phobos Cheerleaders 2009 for making me remember why I chose to be a leader in the first place. Seeing your commitment and sacrifices for the house was really touching. Besides, you people made me cry so much THAT DAY (tears of joy). And who can forget that 'dramatic' surprise on my birthday.

Phobos House 2008/2009 for being such a wonderful house. Thanks to the whole house for being so enthusiastic during inter house events. Being the champion house of 2009 was definitely one of the highlights of the year. Truly the hottest house in MJC.

ATTP for all the nonsense and camwhore moments and random laughter and everything. Every one of you is special to me.

MJI for always being there and making me laugh like some hyena on steroids as well as being my pillar of support through the tough times.

Last but not least, to all my friends and family, new and old for making me smile one way or another.

And thus begins another chapter of my life...

Bye Or Hello, It's All Good (Pt. 1)

2009-12-31T23:57:00.011+08:00

In case you were wondering, yes, this is my farewell-to-2009, hello-to-2010 post. By the way, I'm ushering in 2010 at home. Alone. Not necessarily a bad thing though. For one, there's actually some quiet for me to get into my self-reflection mood, something that I haven't gotten into in quite a while. In that sense, i’m very glad that i’ll be saying hello to 2010 at home by myself.

To quote a new friend I've made in 2009, the year "had [its] beautiful moments but [it's] also been a crazy bitch". Well said, doctor.

Two oh oh nine bears so much significance to my very being. I dare say, it is even the single most significant year of my life thus far. Sure, it had the crazy stuff everyone's life is made of. The ups, downs, highs, lows, tears, laughters, you know, the usual stuff.

But on top of all those, I realised that I have finally been able to overcome something that has been holding me back most of my life. This is the year that I've been able to come into my own. To turn a blind eye towards what others think of me. To do as I please and not give a second thought as to what people will say (don't worry though, I still know my own limits). To be myself whenever, wherever.

“I’m through with playing by the rules of someone else’s game” says Stephen Schwartz, writer of the song ‘Defying Gravity’. Very apt.

Not to forget, 2009 is also a year which, for many people, has been very tumultuous. Challenges, such as the economic crisis, H1N1 and the slew of natural disasters in Asia-Pacific, defined the year for many but these are the very reasons why 2009 has also been a year full of lessons and countless opportunities for growth.

In that light, let us all embrace this new year (and decade) with open arms and open minds. There may be clouds looming ahead. It is inevitable. But if we look past that, the future is bright nonetheless.

Hilarious Take On A Serious Issue

2009-12-29T13:47:00.002+08:00

When A Chasm Is Acceptable

2009-12-27T01:12:00.004+08:00

It's oficially 27 December which means tonight, Singapore will decide who the next Singapore Idol will be.

For the record, I'm on TEAM SYLVIA.

I Love Contemporary Dancers

2009-12-26T01:18:00.005+08:00

Throughout the years, mostly due to the show So You Think You Can Dance (henceforth shall be referred to as SYTYCD), I have developed a liking for contemporary dancers of both genders. The things they can do with their bodies, from multiple pirouettes to high jumps, are simply amazing. Makes me want to become a dancer myself (don't laugh). I mean, hey, most of you already know how much I love to dance.

The video above is one of my favourite routines from SYTYCD 6. Jakob (the guy) didn't win even though he totally should have won (yes, he's a contemporary dancer). It was chereographed by one of my favourite chereographers from the show, Sonya Tayeh. I won't bore you with what I think about the dance and dancers so just click the play button. Now.

I want to share more videos now because I feel like it. In case you were wondering, when I'm on the net, most of the time is spent on watching SYTYCD videos. The two videos below were chereographed by Sonya Tayeh. The first one is from season 4, with Mark (who should have at least made it into the finals) and Courtney and the second one is from season 5, with Jeanine (the winner) and Evan. Both are amazing routines so go watch it. I'll shut up now.

What One Would Want

2009-12-18T00:02:00.004+08:00

I got the following from a wonderful realm called the world wide web. Definitely worth mentioning. Absolutely worth giving a thorough read, followed by a reflection session, be it with yourself or with another.

I want to live in a country where pop media is a form of self-expression and not of mind control.

I want to live in a country where farmers are valued more than lawyers.

I want to live in a country where more money is spent on education than on war.

I want to live in a country where the public health is not determined by profit margins.

I want to live in a country where the bicycle industry is more heavily subsidized than the auto industry.

I want to live in a country where equal rights for a minority aren’t determined by the majority.

I want to live in a country where all citizens are treated as brothers and sisters.

I want to live in a country where violence is a bigger taboo than nudity.

I want to live in a country where salaries are determined by skill sets and experience, and not genitals.

I want to live in a country where the future of the planet is more important than past grievances.

When There Is Many Within One

2009-12-16T01:22:00.006+08:00

Contrary to popular belief, I am actually not always chirpy and cheery even though I may seem so. What you see is not always what you get.

I've been very polarised these past few days. Tested the waters too and with a heavy heart, I am trying to come to terms with the fact that my situation is utterly hopeless right now. The time is not ripe yet. Maybe in the future.

And yes, it's my life and these are my confessions.

PS: Unless you know the context of this, you shouldn't be able to understand.

Whoo!

2009-12-14T13:21:00.005+08:00

Joe McElderry won X Factor!

Self Censorship

2009-12-12T18:17:00.003+08:00

It's not that I have nothing to blog about. I have actually been writing quite a few posts but decided not to publish them. Instead, they were deleted. Those posts were just too personal to put it out there. I'd rather keep them to myself.

Till my next post, toodles!

My Life Is Not Boring Anymore. To Me At Least.

2009-12-02T14:51:00.005+08:00

Just in case you want to know what I've been up to in the past few days, it's either I go out to town for some (window) shopping or stay at home to nurse my obsession with Glee. That's all I've been doing. No, really.

Peace.

A Song For The Little Ones

2009-11-22T12:42:00.006+08:00

'A' Levels are freaking over which means I've officially completed 12 years of Singapore's rigorous education system. So to encourage those little ones who just entered or are entering this system to keep pressing on, have a good listen to this song. It teaches you about counting and angles and stuff. Hehe.

Indeed, living in sin is the new thing.

PS: My 'brother-from-another-mother' is leaving for Australia tonight to cath Britney's concert on Wednesday. I'll either sneak into his suitcase or assasinate him and pretend to be him. Wish me luck :)

Enlistment

2009-10-20T23:40:00.004+08:00

Today I got my enlistment notice after much anticipation. My journey with SAF begins on 4th March 2010. Apparently, my mum is not too happy because she doesn't think I can rough it out. In fact, there's a handful of people out there who are (unsurprisingly) doubting my ability to survive the army.

You know what?

I don't care what they think about me.

Tweet Tweet!

2009-10-18T22:12:00.003+08:00

I'm a tweeting twit now so there'll be a lot less blogging and a lot more tweeting from me, at least until after the A Levels :)

It's All In The Variance!

2009-10-17T11:50:00.003+08:00

Shown during farewell assembly yesterday. Math department rocks!

(Never in a million years would I have thought I'd say that)

Perspectives

2009-10-10T19:20:00.006+08:00

Desire.

Is it a paragon of ambition or just a form of avarice?

Think long and hard about it...

...the question, not the photo.

Live Like We're Dying

2009-09-28T00:57:00.003+08:00

This song is totalleh awesome!

Today's jalan raya was very boomz.

I'm also keeping my fingers crossed.

F*** You

2009-09-25T21:16:00.009+08:00

Before you jump into any conclusions, let me assure you that this is not some emo mofo post about anything or anyone. This is merely me sharing an objective view of the pleasantly profane F-word. I found the following on the internet and it's just too interesting for me to not share.

"Of all the curse words, though, I think fuck is the most fun to say. Obscene meanings aside, there's something linguistically pleasant about the sound of the word. It's powerful without being unwieldy, visceral without being guttural. It begins with an urgent "eff" sound, a common labiodental fricative, allowing the speaker a gradual build-up to the word's explosive climax, much like the hissing of a bomb fuse. Then the word rounds into its vowel sound, the graceless but utile U, lifting the word into flight with its subtle yet primal "uhh" sound, thrusting the word forth into its percussive coda, the velar stop of the CK, slicing through the air like a woodsman's axe before landing squarely and solidly, perhaps drawing blood. 

It's never been adequately explained to me why "fuck" is considered to be the most unpleasant of the swear words. Fuck's power and versatility has been well established. In many contexts, it can be a nice, dare I say romantic, little term. I can think of many pleasant sentences with the word playing a key role. So what makes it so bad?"

See, told you it's objective. I loved the way how the writer intricately described and analyzed with vivid detail the process of just saying the word. I must say, it is always fun to look at the same things from different angles. The insights gained are wonderfully... erm... insightful.

If you would excuse me now, I'm off to enjoy the linguistic sensations from saying FUCK.

Outstanding Choreography

2009-09-24T00:33:00.002+08:00

Nappytabs didn't win the emmy for their Bleeding Love routine.

I'm sad.

Hot and Cold

2009-09-20T01:27:00.006+08:00

Today's post will revolve around a central theme. Bragging rights for those who can decipher the painfully obvious.

1. Ever since ______, my mind has been threading along the extremes, and this time I'm more confused than ever. So, red pill or blue pill?

2. Needless to say, prelims thus far has been hot and cold, both literally AND figuratively. Go figure.

3. Selamat Hari Raya. Time for cold drinks and hot money (yes, the economics term). 2 days will hopefully suffice. Then it's back to the books.

Face It

2009-09-10T19:37:00.005+08:00

In theatre, it's called the last act.

In athletics, it's called the last lap.

To put it simply, the last 12 years of formal education will culminate with the A Levels. If it were to be personified on a face, I would imagine it to have a grim one with a sinister smirk. The strong and resilient will triumph whilst the others will fall by the wayside come March 2010.

60 days and counting.

Maybe not now but when the time comes, I will be ready.

A Wandering Mind

2009-08-22T22:42:00.008+08:00

Disclaimer: Do take the following with a pinch of salt because it is just the speculation of a guy whose mind wandered off too far from the conventional. These are mere suspicions with regards to the circumstances surrounding himself and the world around him.

Forgive my cynicism but I'm beginning to think that meritocracy is just a euphemism for social Darwinism. Sure, we've discussed about it during GP and made small talk about it but until now, I've been delusional. Claims of meritocracy are but an eloquent way to mask the injustice that pervades our lives. Of course, it may spur us on to be the best at what we do but at what cost? Our sanity, perhaps? Mark Twain did mention before that happiness and sanity is an impossible combination. I find it ridiculously ironic that I am benefiting from meritocracy and yet, I am also a victim of it's vices. I wonder how the 'atas' people deal with it.

Ah. The joys (and pains) of life.

I'll stop here for fear of being accused of being unpatriotic, and yes, I have intently kept this post vague.

To The Left, To The Left

2009-08-13T23:34:00.004+08:00

It's about half an hour to midnight and I just remembered that today is a special day.

Today, 13 August 2009, is International Left Handers Day.

So to all lefties reading this, Happy Left Handers' Day!

Let us all celebrate our unparalleled uniqueness.

Good And Evil In One Day

2009-08-05T20:02:00.006+08:00

Good:

On the bus ride to school today, my eyes were just peeled on that little thing we call TVmobile. The little white bar at the bottom read "Latest: Clinton and pardoned journalists bound for Los Angeles". Even though I still wasn't fully awake, that little bar right there immediately sparked a little something in me, hoping it was what I thought it was. True enough, the report came on and I was right. Euna Lee and Laura Ling have been released from the grips of North Korea. I smiled my way to school.

This issue first captured my attention a few months ago as I was reading through MS's website. Even though what these two journalists did was not exactly right, I was disgusted upon reading what the circumstances were at the labour camp they were sent to. I'm happy that they're no longer going to have to go there but my heart goes out to all those who went through the pains of that camp, both living and dead.

Evil:

Today's geography lecture by Professor Victor Savage from NUS not only opened my eyes. It also pierced through heart and set my mind thinking. The knowledge he imparted on us was mind blowing. I am now convinced that most students from Singapore's mainstream education system live under the delusion that this particular red dot we live in is so pure, morally upright and caring to our neighbors. I don't have the time to elaborate on everything that he mentioned during the lecture but one thing is for sure. Singapore may be small but we are behaving like little monsters when it comes to consuming, and I'm not just talking about food here. Are you guilty? I know I am.

On the way home today, my mind was abound with thoughts of how evil we are to our planet. Mother nature provides for us but we are taking her for granted. We may be at the top of the food chain but considering the way we are treating our home, our ONLY home, we're worse than the worst savages that has ever walked on earth. It's ironic how the 'intellectual' creatures are the ones causing the most harm to this already ailing planet, but maybe, just maybe, mother nature did intend for this to happen. Nothing lasts forever so perhaps this might just be the way things are supposed to go, ultimately leading to the tragic end of this planet we call earth. Probably in 2012? Okay let's save that ridiculously intelligent topic for another day.

Jumping Jacks Has Done Me Good

2009-08-03T23:57:00.005+08:00

I absolutely adore these photos. We rock.

But of course, the geek in the pink rocks more.

>.<

Please forgive my narcissism.

Tone of Everyday

2009-07-26T20:42:00.006+08:00

This is Hibi No Neiro (Tone of Everyday) by a Japanese underground band, Sour.

It just so happened that I came across this video whilst browsing Youtube. I have to say, this video is beyond awesome. One can only imagine the amount of painstaking hours taken to put this together.

I have always admired bands that commit themselves to please their fans.

I Don't Deny That I Live In Denial

2009-07-20T23:39:00.005+08:00

Once again I was driven into a corner. I had no other way out. I was only capable of doing one thing, and I'm not exactly proud of it. Nevertheless, I denied any conclusions you drew about me by making those shallow observations.

I'm appalled at you, at myself.

For the record, you're number three.

Here Comes The Patriotism

2009-07-06T22:05:00.002+08:00

Hands down, one of my favourite NDP theme songs.

Wisdom Of A Ninety Year-Old

2009-07-03T20:55:00.006+08:00

The internet is amazing. There are unquantifiable amounts of wisdom waiting to be discovered within its deepest crevices. Forget all the bad stuff because this list spoke to me and made me feel something I've never felt in a long time. Though I can't quite put a finger as to what that feeling is, it's definitely a good feeling.

Regina Brett is a 90 year-old resident of Cleveland, Ohio. In this list, she recounts 45 of her most profound and important life lessons. There are funny ones, illogical ones and there are also those that makes so much sense to me. I'm here to share with you her wisdom.

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?’

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

For the record, numbers 4, 13, 26 and 45 are my favourites.

Icons

2009-06-26T16:58:00.003+08:00

Today is a sad day for Hollywood and perhaps, the world.

Rest in peace.

When Studying Gets Boring

2009-06-20T00:10:00.004+08:00

Youtube has been my best friend for a few years now. It never fails to provide me with endless entertainment. Check these videos out.

If this isn't awesome, I don't know what is. I can only imagine how painstaking it was to make this video.

This one is from Singapore Idol 3 auditions. These girls can really sing. Of course, my judgment is pretty biased considering the one with the shorter hair is my cousin. Haha.

Okay. Back to studying (or sleeping?)

Sniff Sniff

2009-06-14T20:53:00.004+08:00

It's almost 9pm and my mom is in one of those "experiment with whatever is in the kitchen" moods. Well, whatever she's baking, it sure smells good.

I guess crazy cravings run in the family.

Insomnia + Boredom = This Post

2009-06-14T01:48:00.012+08:00

It has been a month since my eighteenth and in one month alone, so much has happened. I have a lot to say about each and every event but I think its best I keep it to myself. Let's just have a brief retrospective pictorial summary of the month for the sake of it.

Much Ado About Nothing- 14 May

The set was awesome. What you see here is nothing compared to when it was in its full splendour.

Visage- 24 May

Final rehearsal.

The make up made my face look all waxy and shiny and disgusting and stuff. Eww.

08A301! (Well half of it at least)

Mj Vj Soccer Finals- 25 May

We cleaned up the mess we made, mind you.

Colosseum- 27 May

The very people who made every sacrifice worth making.

Phobos Cheerleaders 2009

Us in action haha.

Victorious smiles.

House Committee Handover Ceremony- 29 May

6th Phobos House Comm, the people I'll never forget.

7th Phobos House Comm (Captain and Vice Capt missing) -.-

6th and 7th Non-Sports. Still the only guy in my post, and proud of it.

While the countless VS and TK people were doing school cheers, Weilin and myself went "Damai!" Haha.

Drama Club Farewell Party- 6 June

Hearts to Drama Club!

If only Xiaoqi had worn green, it would have looked like a rainbow.

Paparazzi shot!

ITE College East Show Choir Performance- 9 June

Kassim and Fatimah are stars now. Don't mess with them.

Amazing people. Amazing talent.

Chilling At Fiq's- 11 June

Fun. Food. Friends.

That's all I have for now.

Subtext

2009-06-11T14:37:00.004+08:00

Come on now. Am I the only one who finds this utterly hilarious?

I know its unintentional but the phrasing just makes me chuckle.

Oh crap I'm supposed to be on my way to a bbq right now.

Impatient!

2009-06-07T23:34:00.001+08:00

Come quickly June 12!

The Truth Of A Thousand Lies

2009-06-07T01:05:00.004+08:00

My stand was true.

The reasoning were lies.

No regrets though.

It had to be done.

I had to protect myself.

When Things Fall Apart

2009-06-04T22:08:00.010+08:00

I can only press my back up against the wall and gaze back in bewilderment at how some things can disintegrate so much so quickly. To be honest, I have never had to face such an appalling heap of crap before in my short life and I can only hope that this whole fiasco will make me a better person, regardless of how much trash I need to clean up.

It is not an easy affair to deal with. At times like these, I honestly feel so compelled to just ward myself in a mental institute. I don't even know what I'm thinking or where I stand anymore. It's like as if I'm switching polarities back and forth and back and forth again and again. It's really taxing, and to think that this has been building up for such a long time and to know that I may have had a major role in this just adds so much salt to this huge, disgusting, infected wound. I should have seen this coming. I suck at life. I'm a bad person. I'm a really bad person.

At this juncture, I just want to do so many things that are just ludicrous and unrealistic. I want to escape to the mountains and scream everything away. When the echoes come, I'll scream louder just to drown it. I want to stop time and think long and hard about things that has been bogging me down. I want to break myself out of these four walls that have been bounding me so much all these years. Unfortunately, fantasy is just... fantasy.

Ah yes, fantasy. Somehow my greatest fantasies can only be attained in solitude. I find so much solace in solitude. It makes me and it breaks me. I am in a perpetual state of contradiction. I epitomise that silly thing. All the more I should move in to a mental hospital.

At least I have friends around to help me escape reality, albeit temporarily. Better than nothing right? Special thanks to the two of you (you know who you are) for the short escape from reality just now. I really needed that and I hope you understand that I'm just not ready to talk about it.

I know I'm being absurd here but could this be the unieverse's way for a coming-of-age? Meh. Told you it's absurd. Well I can only cross my fingers and hope for the best.

And the burning question. Should I follow my head or my heart?

200 Minutes

2009-06-03T23:58:00.004+08:00

4 consecutive periods in LT1 tomorrow.

Wish me luck.

Zzzzz....

So Many More Reasons To Smile

2009-05-28T18:32:00.006+08:00

Visage has ended with success.

Colosseum has ended with success.

My mind is racing at a thousand thoughts per second.

So please, allow me some time to settle down and consolidate my thoughts into coherence.

But just to sum it all up, the torturous past few weeks all culminated into the most memorable and bittersweet moment of my life.

PS: Handover Ceremony is tomorrow. Please Faz, no more tears.

I Can Count The Days With The Fingers Of One Hand

2009-05-22T00:32:00.006+08:00

2 days to Visage.

5 days to Colosseum.

It's the final stretch.

Oh the ambivalence.

I Admit, I Almost Gave Up

2009-05-18T00:30:00.003+08:00

These past few weeks saw me at my busiest and for the next couple of weeks, things will only get more hectic. I’ve now realised the value of time and, metaphorically speaking, how I’ll miss the scenery if I drive too fast.

I’ve been through the motions. I’ve been near the breaking point. I’ve been frustrated and almost gave up. For reasons more obvious than the colour of the sky, I chose not to give anyone an inkling as to what’s going on inside.

As mentioned before, I subscribe to the notion that every experience is a lesson waiting to be discovered. True enough, the things I’ve discovered, about myself and others, has enabled me to grow so much. For that, I thank everyone for their contributions, no matter how big or small.

Special mention to the 7th Phobos HC whom a few weeks ago, made me do a 180. I was really inspired by their dedication. I can now truly say that I’m proud of choosing each and every one of them. Their enthusiasm touched me and reminded me of why I joined HC in the first place. They gave me new strength to keep on going and till today, whenever I feel overwhelmed by my undertakings, I look back to that day when their words moved me to tears.

Weepy thoughts aside, I now ~~try my best to delude myself~~ know that every moment is enjoyable if you just allow it to be so. The human mind works in such a way that even the most stressful situations can be fun if you choose for it to be that way. My life is much more enjoyable now that I’ve discovered the beauty of choice.

Lastly, I’d like to thank the cheerleaders for the wonderful morning surprise on my birthday, and the people who wrote their well-wishes on that unique gift. The photo rocked by the way.

New Divide

2009-05-17T20:45:00.006+08:00

Come on May 18th!

I can't wait anymore!

7 days to Visage.

10 days to Colosseum.

TAKE THAT!

2009-05-14T23:50:00.004+08:00

Did anyone see Simon's face when Kris got through?
In your face, judges!

10 days to Visage.

13 days to Colosseum.

Counting Down

2009-05-13T00:36:00.005+08:00

11 days to Visage.

14 days to Colosseum.

Stepping down is going to be really painful. Bring on the waterworks.

Time, and I'm so short of it. I don't want this to end though because when all this ends, it's goodbye to Drama and goodbye to House Comm.

With drama rehearsals, cheerleading practices and Colosseum preparation going into full swing, the next 2 weeks will practically be a hell ride that I know I will somehow enjoy. The final stretch is here. Who would have known that I'd grow so attached, and now I must let it go. Tsk.

Be good to me Phobos.

This Is Sad

2009-05-08T00:03:00.003+08:00

There goes my dream of a Kris-Allison finale.

I'm sad.

I'm really sad.

Well at least Kris is still in this.

The Dissent Within

2009-05-06T23:18:00.004+08:00

You have suffered enough

And warred with yourself

It's time that you won

The magnificence and beauty of song lyrics. They get unleashed in their full splendour when mere meaning transcends the superficial, when mere words find attachment, when mere melodies can move the soul.

Yes, you have been subjected to excessive torment.

Yes, there is dissent within you.

Yes, it has to stop now.

Sad to say, this is beyond my control. It may be time for it to stop, yet, the sinister forces that dwells within the compounds of your conscience seem to be in disagreement.

Only you can save yourself.

Labouring

2009-05-01T17:19:00.010+08:00

Labour Day has assumed an apt new meaning. Ironic as it is, I think I speak for most of you when I say that Labour Day will be spent labouring over the snowball of work that seems to be piling with every passing day.

Personally, I'm really glad for today. There is finally some spare time away from school where I can take action against the two things that has hindered my academic performance these past few weeks: sleep deprivation & excessive workload.

Still, a haunting thought hovers over my head like how dark clouds are forming more frequently nowadays. Sadly for you, I shan't spare any details.

Yesterday's soccer match between ACJC and MJC was blasphemous. I'm not one who is usually so enthusiastic about soccer matches but I can call a dramatic match when I see one. Those AC boys were more dramatic than the cast of Days of Our Lives and General Hospital combined. Heck, those boys even have a reputation amongst the other schools for the way they play. We might have lost the match but there is still hope to get into the semifinals. Nevertheless, its still nice to see so many Meridians showing their support.

On a brighter, more chirpy note, the BOP test has been pushed back to Monday. That means I still have hope. Drama rehearsals are on full swing. 24 May draws closer and I really hope for a memorable performance which means I need to watch more soap operas and get the melodramatics right *hint hint*.

To my Phobos HC: Let us not falter at this crucial stage. Despite the gruelling demands of our own commitments, we must still pull through all the misfortunes that has been hurled at us and make sure that Colosseum is as fun as it should be. Remember the motto we came up with during our first meeting as a comm last June? Minor adjustments aside, now is the time for us to scribe that into our heads and push ourselves for Phobos. "Rising from the ashes, flying towards the heavens, soaring WITH the rest". The worst thing that can happen is that we don't do our best. So press on and pull through!

Intensity

2009-04-25T21:03:00.006+08:00

The intensity of the past few weeks has had a very weird effect on me. Lectures after tutorials after lectures. Homework and assignments. Drama rehearsals and not to forget the physically taxing Colosseum and cheerleading. Reaching home after 9pm almost everyday. Repetition. Droning on and on and on, but this is no complaint for I chose to be a part of this whirlwind.

Somehow, due to reasons beyond the limits of my mental capacity, I've actually been sleeping less during lessons. I still do fall asleep but when I don't, which occurs more often now, I can actually listen attentively and (partially) internalize what has been taught.

Maybe it's because of the hilarity in "cockulating numbels" or the fun in commenting on whatever the teacher is wearing or perhaps, the topic that is being taught is able to really capture my interest. I'm not going to lie. I LOVE the whole topic on the Atmosphere. It has been my favourite topic since secondary school.

House comm interviews are done and I must say, I've never faced so much difficulty in choosing. Decisions. Decisions. I can only hope we made the right choice. That day, when we finally settled with the first set of names, I had this very uneasy feeling in my stomach, one of ambivalence. All I could think of was that I'm only four weeks away from stepping down after which, life would be boring as hell.

I guess now is the time to go all out and cherish every moment. Final 4 weeks. It's crunch time! I don't want to have any regrets.

Retail Therapy

2009-04-10T22:46:00.006+08:00

This year's movie marathon wasn't half as great as last year's. The movies weren't as great and there were so few of us. I ended up dozing off on the hard floor which left me with body aches which I only started to feel a few minutes ago.

Went to Tampines 1 today because someone was being so persistent, so I had to give in. Uniqlo was a unique experience to say the least. Let's just say that queing up is not my thing but but but we saw a certain economics lecturer whilst in the queue and what a moment that was. I couldn't control my laughter. We also bumped into about ten meridians there including this one couple that I should have snapped a photo of and posted it at Gossip Girl or something.

We scoured the whole mall, depressing ourselves in the process due to the fact that we couldn't afford everything we wanted. It's been a while since we've done that.

We couldn't find yoghurt so we had pretzels by the steps instead (an obvious reference to GG of course). Then we just sat there and talked about stuff just to kill time after which, we went back in only to find that there WAS yoghurt after all. Dang.

Retail therapy (cheap version) with the best friend. That's how I'll summarise the day, and as for the weekends, I've promised to myslef that I'll study. Something tells me that this is a promise I won't break.

Mantra

2009-04-06T23:18:00.008+08:00

Two freaking hard slaps across the face, but no pain no gain. It's time to wake up from my dormant slumber.

I may be shaken but I'm not stirred.

What doesn't kill me will only make me stronger.

Ambivalence was prevalent throughout the day. It was really difficult to be concurrently depressed yet motivated but I somewhat succeeded. Of course, if my expression of ideas are so incoherent that you have no idea what I'm talking about, today I received most of my MBT papers back after a whole darn week of (un)anticipation. There's still 2 subjects (of apparent failure) left to go.

I was threading the boundaries of depression and motivation. However, it was Mr Chen's TLC (Tough Love Course) that managed to really brighten up my day. At least when he speaks, I feel like I can actually do it (provided I work hard of course) as opposed to the-one-who-can't-be-named whereby downcasting us with constant nagging in such condescension seems to be an innate habit.

There, I said it.

Now, to continue my mantra of motivation.

I may be shaken but I'm not stirred.
What doesn't kill me will only make me stronger.

5 Metres

2009-04-02T00:38:00.004+08:00

The weekends after March Block Test was spent indulging in theatre. Towkay Wayang at Victoria Theatre and The Winter's Tale at Esplanade. The weekend was definitely well spent.

Sitting first row for a production with such calibre as The Winter's Tale was nothing short of amazing. Have I mentioned that I was literally 5 metres away from Ethan Hawke? I don't mean to brag but... okay well actually I do. Hey, I'm only human but then again, apart from myself, who else would care about Ethan Hawke?

I'm guessing that the answer would be somewhere along the lines of "not many".

Counting Sheep Doesn't Work

2009-03-28T00:46:00.011+08:00

Today, I only had 2 hours of sleep prior to school, with similar sleeping circumstances the preceding days due to the darling [note the sarcasm] March Block Test. I'm still trying to adjust my body clock back to it's normal operating hours because staying up till those ungodly hours is just plain... ungodly. Hope it doesn't turn out to be insomnia.

So, from an orthodox, conventional point of view, the oft cited consequences of sleep deprivation includes lethargy, distraction, decreased alertness, decreased performance and mental impairment. All that should add up to me being an unresponsive, energy-deficient lump of junk who drags himself around the school compunds like an absent-minded zombie in a desert landscape, right?

Wrong!

For reasons beyond the boundaries of our cosmic existence, my brain seemed to have shifted into hyperdrive, amplifying its functions such as bimbotism, sarcasm, randomness, and craziness amongst other abilities into superhuman proportions. For the record, Azrul, cocaine is not the culprit. Narcotics ain't cool.

So if any of you found me a tad too loud, highstrong, weird, over-the-top and giggly today, it's probably the side effects of my recent sleeping habits.

It's funny that back when I was mugging, my mind was telling me to stay up and keep on mugging whilst my body kept expelling yawn after yawn as a subtle reminder of the need to sleep. Now, as much as I tell myself to hit the sack, my body seems reluctant to comply. It rebels by ensuring my transit into dreamland is one that is laden with tosses and turns. The mechanisms our mind and body employ baffles me too much sometimes.

Long ago, I subscribed myself to the notion that there is beauty in every adversity, that every obstacle is a blessing in disguise. Sadly, I have yet to figure out the lesson to be learned from this fiasco.

Tonight though, I have good reason to turn in early.

Eyebags!

My Plan For The Next Few Days

2009-03-25T18:01:00.006+08:00

I will not mull over the Disaster that is MBT
I will not mull over the Evil that is MBT

I will not mull over the Atrocity that is MBT

I will not mull over the Debacle that is MBT

Glad to get that out of my system. Now that I have some time to spare, I'm finally able to do what I've been putting off for months.

And I can't wait to watch The Winter's Tale. Thank you SRT!

Can I Just Say

2009-03-18T22:19:00.013+08:00

In my truest and most honest opinion:

1. The girls totally pale in comparison to the guys. Allison is the only saving grace.

2. Danny and Adam is so overrated.

3. I swear I'll slaughter someone if both of them make it to final 2.

4. I'm a Kris fan.

5. I'm devastated that April 7 is on a Tuesday because CCA comes first.

6. I studied today, but that's not interesting.

I bet most of you probably wouldn't even care about the above though.

Oh well.

Meh.

By the way, if you checked the dictionary, 'meh' is defined as an expression of indifference or boredom, or an adjective meaning mediocre or boring. Yes, it's a real word.

Good grievances. This 'term break' (I use the phrase with caution), my brain has really been churning out all sorts of random jargon out of me. Not that it doesn't do so everyday but still...

This Is Too Hilarious

2009-03-17T15:17:00.006+08:00

"Sunday: We Eat Kids"

I almost fainted from laughing.

Oh and check it out. This post was posted on March 17 at 3.17pm. How cool is that?